I'm Done Being a Martyr - Now I'm Choosing Me.
I’m Done Being the Martyr—Now I’m Choosing Me.
I’ve been feeling like I’ve been on a hamster wheel lately—spinning, stretching, showing up for everybody but me.
And if I’m being real? It’s my own fault. I’ve had a hard time putting myself first. I throw on the cape, swoop in to help, say yes when I should say “no,” and then wonder why I feel drained.But here’s the truth I’m sitting with today: Life is gonna life. And if I don’t choose me first, who will?
Legacy Check
As I get older, I find myself asking deeper questions:
- What legacy am I leaving behind?
- Will they say I helped everyone but never helped myself?
- Will they remember me for who I was, or just what I did for others?
Let me be clear—serving others is beautiful. But your legacy should be more than just self- sacrifice. You are more than someone’s emergency contact. You’re a whole force, with your own dreams and destiny.
So I’m flipping the script.
Let’s Get Practical: Your Self-Check-In
Ask yourself:
- What actually deserves my time and what doesn’t?
- What am I doing out of guilt or obligation instead of alignment?
- Where can I say no—with love—but firmly?
- What am I procrastinating on… and why?
- What tasks can I delegate, delete, or delay?
And most importantly:
Am I building a life that reflects who I really am—or just managing one I settled into?
Am I building a life that reflects who I really am—or just managing one I settled into?
Final Word: Choose You, Fully.
You don’t owe everyone your constant availability.
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to apologize for putting yourself first.
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to apologize for putting yourself first.
Your peace, your presence, your purpose—matter too.
This is your reminder to take the cape off and reclaim your schedule, your energy, and your joy.
This is your reminder to take the cape off and reclaim your schedule, your energy, and your joy.
P.S. If you’re in your “choosing me” era, start with how you pour into yourself daily. Light a candle, lather that honey soap, wear your favorite perfume. Rituals matter. You matter.
Shop the Ritual: Honey Soap + Scent Bundles→HERE!
XO
Shontelle
Founder, FlowEsScents | Self-care for the woman who does it all 💕
Shontelle
Founder, FlowEsScents | Self-care for the woman who does it all 💕